The Diplomaniac!

Partial CIA World Factbook Country Profile for Allahakbaristan

Official Country Name: Democratic Peoples Islamic Republic of Muhammadianidiaminallahackbaristan

Capital: Scruffy (sources say the capital is named after the presidents dog)

Gov. Structure: Islamic Republic

President: Mohammed Ian Idi Amin al-Allah Akbar.

Profile of President:
· Mother is of Sunni Iranian descent
· Father was King of Cannibal Liberian tribe
· At his Bar mitzvah, President Allah Ackbar had a breakdown and converted to “Arab”
· 1st openly gay Arab League President
· Head and founder of the Arab League’s “Dictators with Developmental Disabilities” (ALDDD) program
· Other positions held by President: Prime Minister, Defense Minister, Minister of Oil, Spiritual Leader, and Head of Islamic Courts

Presidential Elections held every: 20 years, all other posts appointed by the President

Location and size: Approximately 5 square miles, just south of Turkmenistan in the “Sandstorm triangle”

Approximate oil Reserves: 900,000,000,000 barrels crude

Unemployment Rate: 99%

Official Religion: Sunni Muslim

Religious Demographics: 95% Shiite Muslim, 4% Jewish, 1% Sunni Muslim

Average life expectancy: 18 years

Population: 1,128,000

Estimated number of AK47’s: 405,128,000

Percentage of population to complete 6th grade: 0%, excluding President, who is an Oxford Scholar

Major Industries: Oil Production, Drug Trafficking, Prostitution

Major Exporters: China, Russia, USA, and France (all exports: Oil, prostitution, heroin)

Major Importers:
(Goods, services, etc are in parenthesis)

· UN Mission in Darfur (food, medical supplies, observers) [Note: they are in the wrong country, contact UN about that]
· World Bank (debt)
· UN Mission In Allahackbaristan (Peacekeepers, drugs)
· China (Russian made attack helicopters and bombers, RPG’s, UN Security Council fitness and guarantees)
· Doctors Without Boarders (free doctors, potential UN spies)
· Halliburton (Blackwater lawyers, tons of cash, local product enthusiasts)
· Shell Oil (dissident control, lovers and leavers, will take some blame after a while, cooperate lackeys)
· Blackwater (school teachers, road builders, linguists, missionaries, candy stripers, skilled philanthropists)